Quacked

Grab your torches and pitchforks, Ducks fans. It’s time to start a new witch-hunt. This time, it’s personal.

Not yet 10 years removed from the grand Paul Kariya deception that took place at the then-nexus of the Anaheim franchise’s road to respectability, the wounds born of mistrust still run deep. Enter Justin Schultz.

By now, the story is one with which Ducks fans are bitterly and intimately acquainted. Schultz was a defenseman in Anaheim’s prospect pipeline — a 2008 second-round draft pick who has since excelled enough at the college level to garner attention across the league. After a protracted negotiation dance with Anaheim, he ultimately decided to test the waters of free agency without ever having laced up for a game on The Pond (although it is now Honda Center, I still like to romanticize certain elements of Mighty Ducks lore, Kariya notwithstanding). He landed in the Ducks’ chosen house of torment: Edmonton.

Throughout the ordeal, the entire hockey world pensively debated the ethics of Schultz’s decision and its long-term implications on the Ducks franchise.

Just kidding.

The 29 other teams and fan bases were actually all a Twitter (capitalization definitely intended) at the prospect of landing a potential stud defenseman for the cost of a signature and a proffer of cold, hard cash.

Anaheim’s fans, meanwhile, are now left to stew over what might have been. All of this because Schultz gave the Ducks a commitment that makes a Kardashian wedding vow look like something virtuous.

Justin Schultz is toxic. Though his decision offers some insight into his character, it still belies the truly nefarious nature of his actions. We are, after all, discussing a player who has yet to suit up for a professional hockey game, yet felt entitled to spurn the team who drafted him.

When Eric Lindros made a similarly selfish decision 20 years ago, he was roundly rebuked in hockey circles for putting himself on a pedestal before he had proven his pedigree at the highest level of competition. I don’t think anybody would dare stake claim to the notion that Schultz is a prospect worthy of Lindros comparisons, except when it comes to his self-importance.

Where does it all come from, then? Nobody seems to be able to answer that question. Analysts and fans alike have repeatedly offered up the platitude that Schultz is a “blue-chip prospect” without any substantiating evidence beyond a successful stint on college ice — something many have accomplished in the past without managing to parlay it into a long and fruitful NHL career.

What I’ve managed to glean from that idle jabberwocky is that Justin Schultz may, someday, in some way, make relatively consistent offensive contributions on the power play.

Take a moment to allow the implications of that statement to settle in your mind. Twenty-nine professional hockey teams engaged in a bidding war for Brian Rafalski 2.0. The Oilers “won” it. Welcome to the new NHL.

That’s not to suggest he wouldn’t have been an integral piece of the Ducks’ future. The reality is quite the opposite, in fact. Why else would a player so green warrant such vitriol?

Languishing in the Pacific Division basement late last year, Ducks General Manager Bob Murray sought out Schultz and made him an offer. Play for the Ducks, ASAP. You’ll join a team that’s struggling, but we guarantee top-4 minutes and valuable NHL experience. And hey, it’s California. You’ll be a millionaire at 21, living in relative obscurity in a beautiful and sunny locale, and best of all, you’ll be a year closer to your next big contract.

It turns out that was an offer Justin Schultz could refuse. The only catch was that Justin Schultz was the only one who was privy to that decision. Murray, on the other hand, was given to understand that Schultz “couldn’t wait” for the college season to end so that his NHL career might commence in earnest.

He also dismissed a personal plea from Scott Niedermayer to give Anaheim a chance. Didn’t even answer the phone, like he had better things to do. That is, of course, actually pretty accurate. The Schultz Sideshow that was about to launch would not run itself.

What followed was a campaign so audacious it would make LeBron James blush many resplendent shades of crimson. A college student had brought the NHL news cycle to its knees, and during a surprisingly entertaining playoff season no less.

The worst part is that now, in the aftermath, the team and the fans — the very parties affected by his decision — still don’t have answers. Nobody in the Anaheim fief knows which way the wind blows in Schultzville, and its lone citizen may be the only one who ever truly does.

With a doomsday horizon looming in the form of another lockout, Anaheim fans may have to wait a little longer than they had hoped to let him know how they really feel. The optimists have meanwhile circled October 19, 2012 on their calendars.

The resentment caused by the unfolding of these events will eventually heal and scab over as rancor. Whether you call it rocking the boat, ruffling feathers or being an asshole, there is little doubt in my mind that Schultz’s choice has made him a marked man when he steps onto the ice in Anaheim in October and in perpetuity.

So we’ll boo him. We’ll taunt him. We’ll celebrate all his failures. And frankly, I don’t think we would have it any other way. Until then, my revenge fantasies will have to suffice.

Have a blast in Edmonton, motherfucker.